Thinking Cows – by John Ogunlela

Recently, the Minister of Agriculture and Rural Development, Chief Audu Ogbeh, announced  that the Federal Government is to establish cattle colonies that would solve the continued herdsmen/farmers conflict in parts of the country.

 Ogbeh made this known during a two day ‘2018 Strategy Retreat’ organised by Synergos for special advisers and directors in the Federal Ministry of Agriculture in Abuja. He said further that facilities will be provided to take care of the herdsmen and their cattle. The herdsmen themselves have said if water and grass were provided they would not be moving with their cattle.

Some Nigerians however have been putting forward ingenious suggestions to take advantage of the would-be established cattle colonies. Take this one by John Ogunlela which he posted on his Facebook page:

If I were a governor, this is how I will be thinking cows right now:

I will be aggregating about 10,000 hectares (20,000 football fields) for ranching. I will reach a nice compensation deal with the original land owners which will be made of:

(a) Immediate cash

(b) Rent spread over 50 years

(c) Land cultivation jobs managing the grazing grass crops and ensilage department.

(d) Integration into the ranching enterprise.

A part of the compensation will be spent on acquiring cattle for them in the enterprise. Basically, the local community must hold at least 40% of the stakes in the business.

1. I will devote 35% of the land to silage production and soya cropping for enhanced feeding. The next 60% will be planted with grass crops for grazing, managed by the agriculture faculty of my state university. It will become an African centre for ranching and grazing science.
2. The remaining 5% of the land will be devoted to schools, residential facilities, community centres, general cattle products R&D plus production of leather, diary, alongside horn, bones and hoof products.

I will have:

(i) A pasteurized milk factory,

(ii) A leather curing and processing factory,

(iii) A meat processing plant

(iv) A hoof and horns rendering plant, all, multimillion-dollar enterprises and;

(v) A vast livestock products R@D centre

I would have created at least 1000 jobs, boosted the local university, bring value to land and bring the cattle business into the tax net. I would have fostered national unity through institutionalized communal cooperation and any foreigner who wants to call my country a “shithole” will have a doubt.