Comportment-vital Attribute Of Eminence – by Emeka Oparah

Many a time and oft we’ve seen instances of prominent individuals, whose station in life would ordinarily seem to preclude them from rash and untoward behavior, let themselves and others down.

It could be a prominent man of God aka pastor or a highly influential politician or a top corporate executive. Let me share a personal experience.

I believe it was in 2006. It was on Awolowo Road, Ikoyi. The viscous early morning traffic was horrible then as it probably is today. As I sat boiling and cursing the road in my Range Rover Sport, I observed a Caterpillar earthmover that was driving by my right-hand side.

Like a typical Lagos driver, I was managing my own car and the four others around me – front, back, left and right. From the right-side mirror, I could see that the “caterpillar” was gradually moving towards me. I became more agitated and started honking my horn to warn the driver to mind his lane.

Further down ahead of the huge vehicle, I observed a line of stationary vehicles, which explained why the caterpillar driver was veering left (towards my car). He was avoiding being trapped. I couldn’t avoid him myself because the lane on my left was bumper to bumper like mine. So, I desperately sought his attention to stop him from crashing into me.

Then, in a flash, the driver swerved into my car and took out the right-side mirror!!!

I went completely irate.

I jumped out and in a fit of rage, not minding my crisp white shirt and silk bow tie, onto the bonnet of my car, screaming at the driver whose seat was kind of suspended on the upper deck of his vehicle.

In a blink of an instant, people gathered around us and I noticed many of my colleagues and friends pleading with me to come down and calm down.

Suddenly, shame took the place of anger. I foolishly jumped down and gently asked the driver to come down. The traffic had built up so much and many more people were coming over to plead with me.

One Okada rider volunteered to escort us to wherever we could park and talk man to man without causing further traffic chaos. One of my colleagues, Olufela King, also accompanied us.

We drove past Falomo to Bourdillon Road, where there was ongoing road reconstruction. Apparently, the earthmover was headed to the site.

Eventually, we resolved the problem amicably and Julius Berger paid for the repairs and parts! I was duly informed that, if they needed to replace the car, it wouldn’t have been an issue, except if my model wasn’t readily available.

When I got to my office and reflected on the incident, I felt very ashamed of myself. I didn’t have to act so lowly by raising so much dust, even if I was justly upset about the damage to my car.

That day, I took a decision never to “explode” in such circumstances to avoid lowering my esteem before people who otherwise respect me and consider me a role model.

Now this incident luckily occurred in 2006. I say luckily because if it had happened now, not a few would have made a video of me on top of my car yelling like an animal! The video would have gone viral and my family, especially my children, their friends, my friends and colleagues and my employers (most unfortunately) would have seen it.

Just imagine the Head of Public Relations of a leading telco acting dishonorably in early morning traffic in a trending video! God forbid!!!

There is an eminence of character usually associated with public office or high social perch. Some call it class. Others call it gracefulness. Whatever you choose to call it, what is more important is to demonstrate comportment even as you aspire to high social status.

As I earlier premised, whether you’re a prominent man of God aka pastor or a highly influential politician or a top corporate, musician, actor, entertainer, professor, etc, etc, you’ve got to be mindful of your personality. Image can be everything. For me, that’s the currency I trade with.

We are not saying you should lose yourself in your position or rid yourself of authenticity but know that you’re under the snow and mind your words and actions-and, of course, your legacy!