Six years ago, today – Frank Ofili

They arrived in a nondescript maroon coloured Mazda car (can’t recall the car’s registration number). A man and a woman, the man middle-aged and the lady in her late thirties from the look of her. At the entrance gate security log book, they wrote simply “Abdullahi and Hadiza”. Their mission(?), “official”, they wanted to see me. Any appointment? No. Security rang me on the intercom.

Few minutes later, they were ushered into my office. Handshakes a few courtesies and pleasantries as would total strangers who nevertheless may have come with good business proposal. A few seconds of sizing up, then the opener. So, what can I do for you? I enquired. Amidst what struck me as a false smile the man asked if I was Frank Ofili to which I answered in the affirmative. Then, still smiling, he continued, claiming they were from the State Security Service. May I see your ID cards please? Another false smile and a flash of a card on my face. I stretched my hand to receive the card for proper scrutiny, but the man demurred, claiming it was against their protocol. Really?

Anyway, to what did I owe this honour by the SSS? The man went into a long sermon about the SSS holding security meetings with corporate companies to collaborate and confer in the face of the security challenges in the country. It was discovered our company had not been attending. Why? The transition from their earlier allusion that they wanted to see me on personal grounds to now enquiring why my employers had not been attending a so-called SSS meeting struck me as too smooth for comfort. On that strength, I decided to be on my guard. Anyway, I replied that we had never received any invitation to such a meeting.

Curious I asked what the business of corporate companies was with state security? His answer “state security”. Then he switched gear again. Does your company have CCTV cameras? I responded that since they neither came with an introduction letter, nor allow me to properly establish their identity, I was not at liberty to speak, Moreso as their question bothered on company security. All this while the lady maintained a studied calm, observing everything going on.

Next, the man went personal again, bantering about me not “cooperating” by first not attending SSS meetings and now not availing them security information needed for their data base. I told him calmly that if indeed SSS actually holds meetings with corporate organizations, and there was valid reason for us to attend such meeting, I would personally represent my employers if invited. That reply seemed to touch a nerve somewhere.

“Are you insinuating we are not from the SSS?” The lady spoke for the first time, visibly angry. Not at all, I replied. Am only saying if we are invited to a meeting, we would attend. To which she said they would send us an invitation letter. “Make sure you come” she charged.

Then the man took over again. What exactly is your company business? How many employees do you have? How many expatriates? What is their nationality? Is their tax up to date? We need to see their passport. To all these questions, I maintained I was not disposed to answering them, and that if that was all, they should please excuse me as I had a lot to do.

Seeing that they had hit a brick-wall, both rose and I once again assured them that if indeed they were from the SSS, we would be willing to attend any meeting with them if invited and that we would also be ready to answer to any issues they may raise. The girl again went personal. “What if we invited you personally?” And I replied I would be curious to know why the SSS would be interested in me, and if there was legitimate reason I would answer to it personally.

As they exited my office door, the lady muttered something in a Yoruba low tone to the effect that I was as stubborn as I was online. I tucked that away in my head and saw them to their car, even as I subtly motion to our security to follow behind me. As the man ignited the car engine, I bent low and spoke directly to his face that if I have committed any crime bothering on state security whether online or otherwise, I would be willing to answer for it. But if not, then I urge you not to waste your energies and time, because where I come from, “we no dey carry last”. The man’s face twitched as he pulled out and drove off.

This was on April 19, 2013. Six years later, I’m still waiting for their invitation. Nothing wey yahoo yahoo people no go try. Or may be these weren’t yahoo yahoo people – looking back in retrospect.