Anu Ofia! – by Frank Ofili

No wonder! No wonder the blogosphere is on fire with relationship and matrimonial issues these days!

My wife got this desperate call last night. Apparently, a friend of mine was about to bash his wife, and the woman had barricaded herself in her room, and called my wife. Quickly, I jumped on a bike. Traffic ensured there was no need for car. Especially at this inauspicious time.

Few minutes later I was in my dude’s apartment. God! The look on his face was murderous; and he was banging his wife’s room door with such murderous rage.

OMG! So this guy was actually intent on panel-beating his wife!

I stood there watching him in his anger. And I felt pity for him. All the while I stood there, he never noticed I was there. And he was cursing, abusing and ranting about “a woman I married with my money” and her entire family……..Jesus Christ!

Shocked and disappointed, I shouted at him. I have never seen such look, such rage, in him before. It was animalistic.

I took in the scene and quietly informed him I was taking the kids to some eatery as I did not want them to see the animal in their daddy. I told him that he should call me after bashing his wife; and if there is a dead body I would be glad to testify against him in court and if it comes to that, I would also be glad to escort him to prison or the hangman for murder.

Something seemed to hit him.

Silence. The longest ten minutes silence I have ever gone through.

Then the wife quietly crept out of her room.

Silence again. More silence. Dude now seemed to realize himself. A look at the kids, a look at the wife, then me, and then back at the kids.

And then what sounded like regrets. And profuse apologies. Regrets. Regrets. And regrets again.

Now, what was really the matter? After listening intently, guess what? It was nothing of consequence. Absolutely nothing of consequence. Just pride! Pure useless pride. And ego! And you wanted to kill your wife for nothing of consequence.

It is not you who made the decision to marry your wife. Your wife did.”

Listen my guy, nothing, absolutely nothing can justify beating up your wife. Or using abusive and insulting language on her and her entire family. It is not a thing to be proud of. In fact, you prove yourself to be immature, stupid and foolish when you do so.

Useless man!

Next time you get into your shameless and animalistic mood to beat your wife, here is the best way to do it. Put on a shirt, step out and go have yourself some beer. Sometimes beer have some salutary effect. And nothing brings a woman to her knees more than greeting her alleged offense with a cold but ominous silence.

Onye ala!

And this goes to all you guys who are so full of yourselves. You think you were the one who married your wife? Na! For your information, it is not you who made the decision to marry your wife. Your wife did. She made the decision to marry you. It is not the other way round.

You may have been the one who took the initiative, spent money for the marriage ceremonies as custom, religion or statute demands, but she was the one who actually made the decision to marry you. That alone ought to make you happy and proud. After all, she had alternatives. Yes she had alternatives, as in other toasters (never mind that many of those toasters may be useless), but she decided to make you her choice.

So, get out of your pride, get down from your high horse and thank God for blessing you with a good woman. Thank God for blessing your marriage with wonderful kids.

Next time you fly into your rage, think of your kids; ask yourself if you are showing a good example; ask yourself if you would be proud to see them behave the way you are about to behave. Know this, your children ultimately copy what you do.

Anu ofia!